- the one where i back danny's truck into a car, he floods the bathroom with shit, and both turn out to be good things
- wherein i admit to danny that i was secretly and deeply worried that his sobriety would negatively affect our sex life, the night after mind blowing drunk sex
- the one where i communicate with my kids exclusively via walkie talkie so they aren't near me
- the one where my stepson calls his father a douche bag and it results in a punch in the arm
- wherein i ask danny's alter-ego (drunk danny) what size boobies i should get and he says "BIG...i mean, you can always get them made smaller..."
- the one where parenthood makes me cry EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
- the one where i realize that i don't know how to make lasagna but it seems like a tremendous pain in the ass
- the one where i suck it up
- the one where i am so over cleaning up the same fucking messes every day
- wherein i tell you that it's leap year and that i think that's stupid
- the one where i take my own advice from way back
randumb
most stressful october EVER
seriously. i'll post tomorrow all the ins and outs and whys. my next comment has nothing to do with this.
i am so sick of seeing updates about weddings and babies. there, i said it. unless i know you very well or hardly at all, i don't care. i don't want to be invited to your shower. i don't care that you just got engaged. i am sick of buying you presents. i did all this shit YEARS ago. you aren't special because you were in labor for 20 hours. this happens every day. some days i fucking hate facebook.
ps. amanda, emily, mike et al hurry up and have babies so i start caring again! :D
also, friday five, because i'm bored and antsy
1) What is one thing you always have with you?
- my phone. ALWAYS. seriously, ALWAYS.
2) What are two things on your night-table (or next to your bed)?
- my iPad (which i do a lot of reading on)
- my jewelry box.
3) What are three things you learned in the last seven days?
- orcas can have babies until they are about 40.
- that a 13 year old wrote the state anthem of alaska.
- that ice worms are the only creatures that live (and thrive) in the crevasses near mt. denali.
4) What are four things you always have to tell your kids?
- stop it.
- please go brush your teeth
- i am going to rip your arm off and beat you with it if you don't stop that
- hurry up
What are five things you paid for in the last month?
- groceries
- gas
- a new cell phone
- a medic bag from army surplus
- effing doctors!
thursday 13: week 15 i'm weeks and a day late edition
update edition
1) i traded in the wrangler: after 11 vaguely inconvenient and exciting years i got a newish car. that's right ladies and mike, despite having bought a 2007 subaru impreza outback sport i am still mostly not a lesbian. mostly. kids' reactions included: oh my gosh! mama, it has windows made of glass! i think the trunk is the most important part of a car...and now we have one! when can we listen to MY iPod through the stereo!?
2) i am on day six of the fancy panty experiment (aka: the no more granny panty manifesto). don't bother googling it; i made it up. after a sideways glance from danny prompted me to joke, "wha? you lookin' at mah granny panties?" i realized that erm, i've pretty much been wearing boring cotton FULL coverage undies for a while now. i'm not slipping down that slope again. ;) so far so good.
3) Parker turned SEVEN. and lost one of her top front teeth. and we took her to the snow with riley-kate. and OHMYGOD she turned SEVEN.
4) also on the parker front i've decided to take her off of wheat which has basically become off of gluten. i was allergic to wheat, eggs, and corn as a child and i've started to suspect that parker has allergies too. after three weeks gluten free her behavior has improved SO much. and since her best friend has celiac disease she's oddly excited about her new diet!
5) omg, we're going to belize in 49 days! danny, the kids, heather, judi, my dad and i will be lazing around in the sun for ten days! i haven't been on vacation since we went to sicily when parker was under two! omg! omg!
6) i went back to no-poo about two weeks ago. my hair is happier.
7) omg, go see black swan.
8)
9) jen quit. and she's being awful about it. i guess we aren't friends any more. she unfriended me on facebook. which honestly in this day and age is the most hurtful thing you can do to a person.
10) bone scan, EKG, ECHO, mri mammogram in the next two weeks. yay for new Rx of xanax. results to follow.
11) did someone say it's almost my biiiirrrrthday? why YES. it's my favorite holiday of the year. unfortunately it falls on superbowl sunday. AGAIN.
12) i signed up for the new safeway savings program "just for u." basically you can "clip" coupons online and they go on your club card. these are above and beyond the club card savings you find in store. today i spent $91.29 and saved $51.16 with my club card and an additional $14.01 with jfu. plus they gave me free eggs for signing up. not too shabby.
13) sadly, i did not do THIS well
let's start this off nice and slow m'kay?
with a meme i stole from colleen's blog:
What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before? helped deliver a baby. SO FLIPPING COOL.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? no, i didn't. i said i'd blog more. and i blogged less. how about i say that i'll blog more in 2011 than i blogged in 2010? seems reasonable.
Did anyone close to you give birth? colleen. very close to me. ;)
Did anyone close to you die? yes. kerry and vaughn
What countries did you visit? boo. stupid question. moving on.
What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? SOME FUCKING MONEY.
What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory? a terrible night in LA for a crappy wedding. the amazing night colleen had the baby. the night i stood up for myself.
What was your biggest failure? not standing up for myself sooner.
Did you suffer illness or injury? only generalized stuff. we did have a terrible stomach bug though.
What was the best thing you bought? the subaru!
Where did most of your money go? living... food, house, kids
What did you get really, really, really excited about? meh. oh, having danny here for christmas! that was a first!
What song will always remind you of 2010? hmmm, they all blur together on my ipod and pandora.
Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder?: about the same
b) thinner or fatter?: about the same
c) richer or poorer?: about the same
What do you wish you'd done more of? outdoorsy things...
What do you wish you'd done less of? worrying
How will you be spending New Years? with the elio's and the hull's and a buttload of children (14). :D
What was your favorite TV program? hoarders. heh heh heh
What was the best book you read? i ravaged _seductive poison_ unbelievable.
What was your greatest musical discovery? having pandora on all the flipping time at home.
What did you want and get? a new (to me) car
What did you want and not get? the $12,000+ rory owes me in back child support
What was your favorite film of this year? inception?
What did you do on your birthday? san francisco?
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? more money to spend on the kids.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? bangs! slightly more funky than usual maybe.
What kept you sane? thursday morning play dates.
Who did you miss? my cousins.
Who was the best new person you met? eh, not met but getting to know colleen and mara better has changed my life for the better.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010: integrity never gets old. and blowing up at rory occasionally is a good thing.
Was 2010 a good year for you? Why? on the whole, yes. i kept moving forward. grew as a person.
What was your favorite moment of the year? realizing one night in november that i can survive ANYthing. again and again.
Where were you when 2010 began? um, los gatos?
Where will you be when 2010 ends? campbell?
Did you make any new friends in 2010? see above.
What was your favorite month of 2010? dunno.
How many different states / provinces did you travel to in 2010? i think i was only in california this year.
What was your favorite record from 2010? band of horses
How many concerts did you see in 2010? just one, band of horses
Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2010? we went to six weddings. need i say more?
Did you do a lot of drugs in 2010? nah
What was the worst lie someone told you in 2010? that we were friends.
How much money did you spend in 2010? all of it.
What was your proudest moment of 2010? standing up for myself and my kids.
If you could go back in time to any moment of 2010 and change something, what would it be? i wouldn't. that would be lame. and creepy.
What are your plans for 2011? belize! storefront/restaurant!
What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before? helped deliver a baby. SO FLIPPING COOL.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? no, i didn't. i said i'd blog more. and i blogged less. how about i say that i'll blog more in 2011 than i blogged in 2010? seems reasonable.
Did anyone close to you give birth? colleen. very close to me. ;)
Did anyone close to you die? yes. kerry and vaughn
What countries did you visit? boo. stupid question. moving on.
What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? SOME FUCKING MONEY.
What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory? a terrible night in LA for a crappy wedding. the amazing night colleen had the baby. the night i stood up for myself.
What was your biggest failure? not standing up for myself sooner.
Did you suffer illness or injury? only generalized stuff. we did have a terrible stomach bug though.
What was the best thing you bought? the subaru!
Where did most of your money go? living... food, house, kids
What did you get really, really, really excited about? meh. oh, having danny here for christmas! that was a first!
What song will always remind you of 2010? hmmm, they all blur together on my ipod and pandora.
Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder?: about the same
b) thinner or fatter?: about the same
c) richer or poorer?: about the same
What do you wish you'd done more of? outdoorsy things...
What do you wish you'd done less of? worrying
How will you be spending New Years? with the elio's and the hull's and a buttload of children (14). :D
What was your favorite TV program? hoarders. heh heh heh
What was the best book you read? i ravaged _seductive poison_ unbelievable.
What was your greatest musical discovery? having pandora on all the flipping time at home.
What did you want and get? a new (to me) car
What did you want and not get? the $12,000+ rory owes me in back child support
What was your favorite film of this year? inception?
What did you do on your birthday? san francisco?
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? more money to spend on the kids.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? bangs! slightly more funky than usual maybe.
What kept you sane? thursday morning play dates.
Who did you miss? my cousins.
Who was the best new person you met? eh, not met but getting to know colleen and mara better has changed my life for the better.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010: integrity never gets old. and blowing up at rory occasionally is a good thing.
Was 2010 a good year for you? Why? on the whole, yes. i kept moving forward. grew as a person.
What was your favorite moment of the year? realizing one night in november that i can survive ANYthing. again and again.
Where were you when 2010 began? um, los gatos?
Where will you be when 2010 ends? campbell?
Did you make any new friends in 2010? see above.
What was your favorite month of 2010? dunno.
How many different states / provinces did you travel to in 2010? i think i was only in california this year.
What was your favorite record from 2010? band of horses
How many concerts did you see in 2010? just one, band of horses
Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2010? we went to six weddings. need i say more?
Did you do a lot of drugs in 2010? nah
What was the worst lie someone told you in 2010? that we were friends.
How much money did you spend in 2010? all of it.
What was your proudest moment of 2010? standing up for myself and my kids.
If you could go back in time to any moment of 2010 and change something, what would it be? i wouldn't. that would be lame. and creepy.
What are your plans for 2011? belize! storefront/restaurant!
guess what i had for dinner
mindless...debut album covers
1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit "random... Read More... Read More" or click here. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band. (alternatively, if the first article you hit is short, hit Random Article two more times.)
2 - Google "Random quotations"or click here. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to flickr and click on "explore the last seven days" or click here. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Use photoshop or Picnik.com or other photo editor to put it all together.
2 - Google "Random quotations"or click here. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to flickr and click on "explore the last seven days" or click here. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Use photoshop or Picnik.com or other photo editor to put it all together.