this has been a strange and strangely slow week. (how is it only wednesday?)
1) haven't seen bk since last thursday and it's been easy to forget that he was ever around... starting to think about court again (july 11 at 9am) after having put it out of my mind for a couple of weeks.
2) 'renzo has been uber clingy and needy this past week. i'm thinking it's because of the night weaning. (boy are we ever sleeping better, all of us.) i can't believe my tiny baby is almost 2 years old and 33 pounds. i have really mixed feelings about this. while on one hand it's nice to think about the end of diapers (we're potty learning now) and getting to sleep in (once in a blue moon), i'm sad to not have a 'baby' to cuddle. i loved being pregnant, loved having my homebirth, loved nursing newborns... but then there is the ppd i suffered for months after my kids were born. and i'm scared of 'changing' another relationship. i suppose if i'm honest with myself, i'm feeling quite certain that i'm done birthing babies, especially since i really envisioned myself with three kids and *poof* i've got three in my life. three is hard (but manageable and joyous) and four feels like it would be too much.
3) i have two recurring dreams. one that my teeth are crumbling, getting knocked out, loose, broken. never had any teeth related trauma but i know this one relates to anxiety or fear of change. the second one is that i'm a chain smoker. i see myself smoking, i look 'cool' doing it, i know how it feels and the way it makes me feel. *scratches head* i've never smoked a cigarette in my life, outside of these dreams.
4) today is d2's 7th birthday. happy birthday buddy. hope you're having fun with your grandma and grandpa and auntie. we miss you and love you so much!
5) i signed parker up for soccer last week (ayso, same league as d2). she's so excited. unfortunately it doesn't start until late august and she asks me daily 'do i have my first soccer game today!?' in the meantime, grandma leslie (my best friend's mama) is doing tennis lessons with her two mornings a week. SO cute. (i'll post a picture when g-les sends me one!) i cannot believe how grown up miss p is seeming, suddenly more girl than toddler/preschooler. she's a huge help to me with the boys, gives them horsie rides while i'm making lunch. ;) i'm sad for her because she is markedly changed since bk left, but i think she's come to trust the men in her life again.
6) just finished this interesting article on salon.com written by a man who lived in a polyamorous household for part of his childhood. interesting (short) piece.
7) danielle, i actually mailed the judah stuff today. let me know if it's not there in a few days. :D cindy, your chocolate is in the mail too. :D
8) has anyone else been dreaming about grandpa tony lately? i had a really vivid dream a few nights ago about him walking in to my living room, looking about 10 years younger than he was when he died. and then, last night, watching the lakers game (shhh, don't remind me. i've seen better pickup games at the flippin' park.) i thought of him again. i remember him watching basketball games in his funky old recliner at his place in santa cruz. was he a warriors fan? bulls? i can't remember. anyway, it made me smile.
9) d and mr. jones (d's lifelong friend who is staying with us for the week) and i watched robert rodriguez's planet terror last night. this is one part of the grindhouse double feature, the other part being quentin tarantino's death proof. we enjoyed both films (i'm a sucker for campy films (hello, fergie cameo? holla!) and i can't really decide which one was better. discuss.
10) i pretty much want every single t-shirt on this website.
1) haven't seen bk since last thursday and it's been easy to forget that he was ever around... starting to think about court again (july 11 at 9am) after having put it out of my mind for a couple of weeks.
2) 'renzo has been uber clingy and needy this past week. i'm thinking it's because of the night weaning. (boy are we ever sleeping better, all of us.) i can't believe my tiny baby is almost 2 years old and 33 pounds. i have really mixed feelings about this. while on one hand it's nice to think about the end of diapers (we're potty learning now) and getting to sleep in (once in a blue moon), i'm sad to not have a 'baby' to cuddle. i loved being pregnant, loved having my homebirth, loved nursing newborns... but then there is the ppd i suffered for months after my kids were born. and i'm scared of 'changing' another relationship. i suppose if i'm honest with myself, i'm feeling quite certain that i'm done birthing babies, especially since i really envisioned myself with three kids and *poof* i've got three in my life. three is hard (but manageable and joyous) and four feels like it would be too much.
3) i have two recurring dreams. one that my teeth are crumbling, getting knocked out, loose, broken. never had any teeth related trauma but i know this one relates to anxiety or fear of change. the second one is that i'm a chain smoker. i see myself smoking, i look 'cool' doing it, i know how it feels and the way it makes me feel. *scratches head* i've never smoked a cigarette in my life, outside of these dreams.
4) today is d2's 7th birthday. happy birthday buddy. hope you're having fun with your grandma and grandpa and auntie. we miss you and love you so much!
5) i signed parker up for soccer last week (ayso, same league as d2). she's so excited. unfortunately it doesn't start until late august and she asks me daily 'do i have my first soccer game today!?' in the meantime, grandma leslie (my best friend's mama) is doing tennis lessons with her two mornings a week. SO cute. (i'll post a picture when g-les sends me one!) i cannot believe how grown up miss p is seeming, suddenly more girl than toddler/preschooler. she's a huge help to me with the boys, gives them horsie rides while i'm making lunch. ;) i'm sad for her because she is markedly changed since bk left, but i think she's come to trust the men in her life again.
6) just finished this interesting article on salon.com written by a man who lived in a polyamorous household for part of his childhood. interesting (short) piece.
7) danielle, i actually mailed the judah stuff today. let me know if it's not there in a few days. :D cindy, your chocolate is in the mail too. :D
8) has anyone else been dreaming about grandpa tony lately? i had a really vivid dream a few nights ago about him walking in to my living room, looking about 10 years younger than he was when he died. and then, last night, watching the lakers game (shhh, don't remind me. i've seen better pickup games at the flippin' park.) i thought of him again. i remember him watching basketball games in his funky old recliner at his place in santa cruz. was he a warriors fan? bulls? i can't remember. anyway, it made me smile.
9) d and mr. jones (d's lifelong friend who is staying with us for the week) and i watched robert rodriguez's planet terror last night. this is one part of the grindhouse double feature, the other part being quentin tarantino's death proof. we enjoyed both films (i'm a sucker for campy films (hello, fergie cameo? holla!) and i can't really decide which one was better. discuss.
10) i pretty much want every single t-shirt on this website.