so the other night, when d and i went out for our anniversary (more on that later), my mom was kind enough to watch the kids. they BOTH spent the night over there. this is a whole new world. we had exactly NO kids in the house that night. just me and d and the cat. lorenzo suddenly is seeming so big to me. i was giving him a bath this afternoon and asked him about nursing. do you still nurse? 'no, me wear panties now. me no nurse. me a BIG boy.' well looky there. he does wear panties now. and he seems to be done nursing. that's 1738 days for me *golf claps*, most of them good and gratifying. (exclude of course, the cracked and bleeding nipples with miss p and the months and months of thrush with 'renzo). this is bittersweet, incredibly bittersweet. i still have milk and i'm having a hard time imagining it being gone, this phase being really and truly over. i'm done with babies but i'll mist up a little bit thinking back on this time.things with bk have been pretty okay, if a teeny bit strained. like i mentioned yesterday, i met up with his cousins and that seemed to be somewhat upsetting to him. funny, and fortunate, he has no jealously regarding the kids and their relationship with d, but this really stuck in his craw. these are good people, who i really adore, and who i think care for me and the kids. i don't plan to (and won't) turn away from them and thankfully, he hasn't asked me to at this point.
my best friend is a 2nd place squirrel.
oh my god, we are making some of the best chocolate stuff we've ever made. we made chocolate dipped marshmallows with nibs. OH MY GOD. as anthony bordain would say this is food porn, hardcore food porn. you guys are gonna love these. and we made the most beautiful rasberry bars in a really sweet 50%. we had a minor setback at the beginning of the month and it required that one of our machines be fixed. it's FIXED and we're back in business. look for an email verrrrrry soon. as dad and b and i were drinking a bottle of port this evening, to celebrate a prefectly tempered batch, good music playing, and us giggling about who knows what, i realized, i could be very very happy doing this. just this.
things with d continue to astound me. it's so flippin' EASY to love him. since i've moved through my fear of being just up and left (and honestly, i never could have predicted that so why worry) things have just mellowed into...life. things are really simple with us. i feel no need to predict or define or control how things are progressing. i just feel the need to laugh with him and dance with him (okay around him) and be THIS happy with him. and i do and i am. so there.
i demand that you check out the moondoggies. i demand it. we will be carrying their cd's (along with my dad's music and ben's artwork) on the website. but for now, i absolutely and a bit rudely, insist that you check out their music. night and day is in my top 10 songs of ALL time.