dad and i got to the court around 8.30. bk got there at 8.40 and tried to make small talk with my dad and i. when my dad got up to go to the bathroom i took the opportunity to talk to him about the fact that his lawyer told my lawyer that i need to get a full time job. my lawyer informed me that anything we take off the table before court will make this go faster. 'it shouldn't take too long.' okay, but i thought we were in agreement about me staying home with the kids. daycare is going to cost a small fortune. 'this is about what's fair. our parents will watch them.' i want some time, with your financial help, to get on my feet, just six months to see if i can't get this business off the ground... don't you think at least that is fair? and then his lawyer walked up and he became extremely cool to me.
we were number 9 on the docket. i sat and talked with my lawyer for about a half hour outside the courtroom. he'd occasionally go and consult with bk and his lawyer. he came back and said basically they're contesting everything. how often he sees the kids (i have this well documented). that he doesn't owe me any spousal support (because we've been separated a year and a half. so because he put me off and i was forced to take him to court i'm not entitled to support? because i believed his lies when he told me 'don't worry, as soon as i have a good job i'll take care of you' i'm not entitled to any support?) that i need to have a full time job (although i already grade papers, watch a three year old, and am trying to run a small business, all while taking care of our children). this from a man that left for another woman, lied to me about it for months, goes on extended vacations, cancels on his kids weekly, has paid me exactly $100 this calendar year, and generally has tried to screw me in every way possible.
finally, after two hours and fifteen minutes it was our turn. (it was interesting btw to watch the other cases but i kept thinking to myself, surely we aren't like these greedy vindictive asshats. surely we're more adult and don't want to drag our kids through the mud.) we went before the judge, were sworn in and seated and she looked through her papers. 'you have an open dcss case. i can't make a ruling today.' she pulled the lawyers aside, they whispered, and in under three minutes it was over. my teeth were chattering, i was shaking, and on the verge of tears. bk was smug, probably feeling rather vindicated. six weeks of fear, two hours of waiting, all for three minutes of nothing. the judge suggested that we see when we're on the calendar with dcss, finish things there and come back for a ruling about spousal support. my lawyer left immediately to go to dcss and i'm waiting for a call. bk and his lawyer were talking outside the courtroom when my dad and i left. i was completely in shock but remember his lawyer smiling and saying goodbye to me. bitch.
what an ugly thing this all is. what a ridiculous and mean spirited ordeal. i'm ashamed of us. i'm disgusted with his behavior, his sense of entitlement, and his belief that he owes me/our children nothing. that there are courts that tell grown people they have to be responsible for their families and finances is disgusting.
i'm no longer scared of court. i know what to expect now and our judge was somewhat disorganized but not crazy. this is by no means the end of this. i'm not after him for his money but if he thinks he can get away with jerking me around for years and years, he's got another thing coming.
we were number 9 on the docket. i sat and talked with my lawyer for about a half hour outside the courtroom. he'd occasionally go and consult with bk and his lawyer. he came back and said basically they're contesting everything. how often he sees the kids (i have this well documented). that he doesn't owe me any spousal support (because we've been separated a year and a half. so because he put me off and i was forced to take him to court i'm not entitled to support? because i believed his lies when he told me 'don't worry, as soon as i have a good job i'll take care of you' i'm not entitled to any support?) that i need to have a full time job (although i already grade papers, watch a three year old, and am trying to run a small business, all while taking care of our children). this from a man that left for another woman, lied to me about it for months, goes on extended vacations, cancels on his kids weekly, has paid me exactly $100 this calendar year, and generally has tried to screw me in every way possible.
finally, after two hours and fifteen minutes it was our turn. (it was interesting btw to watch the other cases but i kept thinking to myself, surely we aren't like these greedy vindictive asshats. surely we're more adult and don't want to drag our kids through the mud.) we went before the judge, were sworn in and seated and she looked through her papers. 'you have an open dcss case. i can't make a ruling today.' she pulled the lawyers aside, they whispered, and in under three minutes it was over. my teeth were chattering, i was shaking, and on the verge of tears. bk was smug, probably feeling rather vindicated. six weeks of fear, two hours of waiting, all for three minutes of nothing. the judge suggested that we see when we're on the calendar with dcss, finish things there and come back for a ruling about spousal support. my lawyer left immediately to go to dcss and i'm waiting for a call. bk and his lawyer were talking outside the courtroom when my dad and i left. i was completely in shock but remember his lawyer smiling and saying goodbye to me. bitch.
what an ugly thing this all is. what a ridiculous and mean spirited ordeal. i'm ashamed of us. i'm disgusted with his behavior, his sense of entitlement, and his belief that he owes me/our children nothing. that there are courts that tell grown people they have to be responsible for their families and finances is disgusting.
i'm no longer scared of court. i know what to expect now and our judge was somewhat disorganized but not crazy. this is by no means the end of this. i'm not after him for his money but if he thinks he can get away with jerking me around for years and years, he's got another thing coming.