so yeah, a more passive me. a more hesitant to pressure a man about anything lest he mistakenly think he love me, think he wants to marry me, realize he's terribly resentful of all the things i prevented him from doing and takes up with another woman me. a more afraid to run another guy off after 10+ years and go through this bullshit again me.
this new pushover girl, as you can imagine, might have gotten me into a pretty sticky situation. lucky for me i met a good guy, someone not looking to advantage of me. someone with a flippin' backbone who is also 'too able' to ask for what he needs and wants. so in the last 8.5 months (holy frick, how'd that happen!?) i've been tippy-toeing back towards the old new me (post-cancer, pre-bk's departure) as i've gotten more and more sure of d. i've realized he isn't afraid of a strong woman. we can have differing opinions and i won't make him feel emasculated or turn him into a crazed chauvinist.
a few weeks ago d and i kind of got into it, for the first time since we started dating. it seems we're both really good at telling each other how to deal with our messy ex's but not so good at taking our own advice. ;) something happened with bk and i just kind of rolled over like i typically do and d called me out on it. i lost my head for a moment, slipped back into 'celeste the wife', and started to yell and cry. imagine my shock when d held his ground and yelled back instead of pussing out and saying sorry and backpeddling (only to hate me for it later). for about a half hour afterwords i was totally freaked out that i'd been discovered and that he was going to up and leave. my instinct was to appologize all over myself and tell him he was right and that i was sorry. but, and thankfully, we both had errands to run and went our separate ways for a couple of hours. i had some time to think and when we met back up at home, i didn't say what i thought i needed to say because it didn't need to be said. i was right. he was right. we yelled. we hugged. we got over it. it was no big deal.
i suspect he hasn't given it another thought. i, on the other hand, have obviously thought it to death and left it here as fodder for you all... :)
this new pushover girl, as you can imagine, might have gotten me into a pretty sticky situation. lucky for me i met a good guy, someone not looking to advantage of me. someone with a flippin' backbone who is also 'too able' to ask for what he needs and wants. so in the last 8.5 months (holy frick, how'd that happen!?) i've been tippy-toeing back towards the old new me (post-cancer, pre-bk's departure) as i've gotten more and more sure of d. i've realized he isn't afraid of a strong woman. we can have differing opinions and i won't make him feel emasculated or turn him into a crazed chauvinist.
a few weeks ago d and i kind of got into it, for the first time since we started dating. it seems we're both really good at telling each other how to deal with our messy ex's but not so good at taking our own advice. ;) something happened with bk and i just kind of rolled over like i typically do and d called me out on it. i lost my head for a moment, slipped back into 'celeste the wife', and started to yell and cry. imagine my shock when d held his ground and yelled back instead of pussing out and saying sorry and backpeddling (only to hate me for it later). for about a half hour afterwords i was totally freaked out that i'd been discovered and that he was going to up and leave. my instinct was to appologize all over myself and tell him he was right and that i was sorry. but, and thankfully, we both had errands to run and went our separate ways for a couple of hours. i had some time to think and when we met back up at home, i didn't say what i thought i needed to say because it didn't need to be said. i was right. he was right. we yelled. we hugged. we got over it. it was no big deal.
i suspect he hasn't given it another thought. i, on the other hand, have obviously thought it to death and left it here as fodder for you all... :)