1) tomorrow the kids, my dad, maria and i are going to the chinese new year parade in san francisco. i'm excited to use my new camera. pictures to follow!
2) one of the things i'm most sad about regarding the "disruption" that is my life right now is that 'renzo's babyhood is going by in a blur. he is such a mellow happy little guy and i find myself wishing some days that he was older so that things would be "easier." that's a shitty way to feel. i want to have the time and energy to really enjoy him. i worry that because parker is the one exhibiting "problems" at the moment, 'renz is getting put on the back burner. i just know i'm going to wake up in six months and wonder where the hell my tiny baby went. hopefully being more aware of this will do some good.
2b) mr. baby is so different than parker. i don't why that surprises me really, but it does. he is so much more careful. he is so close to walking and when he's practicing his moves he's so deliberate, it looks strange on a baby. parker still runs into doorjams and bonks her head. she's always so intent on where she is going that she trys to take the shortest route. for her it is about the destination. for 'renz it's more about doing it with finesse or something.
3) r seems to be slipping back into one of his depressed/distracted modes again. i'm worried about him. it's hard not to be able to hold him and tell him i love him. i kind of have to grey that part of my mind/emotions out because i don't want to feel the pain of rejection. but i look at him during our appointments and i just want to hug him and tell him it will be okay. i'm terrified that i'll never get that chance again. what if i never get to kiss him again? what if i'm never his partner again? what if what if what it? i can't go there; i can't wrap my mind around it.
4) what the hell is wrong with ann coulter. that b*tch is seriously crazy.
no, she didn't just think this in her tiny little brain, she said it at the conservative political action conference televised on c-span.
2) one of the things i'm most sad about regarding the "disruption" that is my life right now is that 'renzo's babyhood is going by in a blur. he is such a mellow happy little guy and i find myself wishing some days that he was older so that things would be "easier." that's a shitty way to feel. i want to have the time and energy to really enjoy him. i worry that because parker is the one exhibiting "problems" at the moment, 'renz is getting put on the back burner. i just know i'm going to wake up in six months and wonder where the hell my tiny baby went. hopefully being more aware of this will do some good.
2b) mr. baby is so different than parker. i don't why that surprises me really, but it does. he is so much more careful. he is so close to walking and when he's practicing his moves he's so deliberate, it looks strange on a baby. parker still runs into doorjams and bonks her head. she's always so intent on where she is going that she trys to take the shortest route. for her it is about the destination. for 'renz it's more about doing it with finesse or something.
3) r seems to be slipping back into one of his depressed/distracted modes again. i'm worried about him. it's hard not to be able to hold him and tell him i love him. i kind of have to grey that part of my mind/emotions out because i don't want to feel the pain of rejection. but i look at him during our appointments and i just want to hug him and tell him it will be okay. i'm terrified that i'll never get that chance again. what if i never get to kiss him again? what if i'm never his partner again? what if what if what it? i can't go there; i can't wrap my mind around it.
4) what the hell is wrong with ann coulter. that b*tch is seriously crazy.
"I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word ‘faggot,’ so I — so kind of an impasse, can’t really talk about Edwards."
no, she didn't just think this in her tiny little brain, she said it at the conservative political action conference televised on c-span.