would you rather

show up noticeably drunk on national tv

-OR-

roaring drunk at your child's college graduation?

tv. i'd way prefer to embarrass myself than my child on such an important day.

would you rather

have to dangle from a 1,000-foot cliff on a rope tied to a tree and choose

to tie the knot yourself

-OR-

trust an eagle scout with a knot-tying merit badge to tie it?

the eagle scout. eagle scouts are the highest ranking boy scouts. i would assume they are in their late teens? so, lots of knot-tying by that point. i know nothing about knot-tying.