it's like when you leave something in the fridge, out for too long, uncovered. it makes the fridge smell bad. you have to take it out. and throw it away. you have to take the trash out. the fridge might smell bad for a while. but the fridge is okay. it's still okay. it isn't hurt. and then it doesn't smell anymore. that's kind of how this is.
+
it needs to be drawn on paper. and hit with a broom. and ripped up. and put in the shredder. there are lots and lots of me. and just a few of them. and i can keep drawing more and more and more of me.
+
my head is getting bigger and bigger and my body is getting tiny and far away. it's better to keep your hands -your body- busy so your mind doesn't take over.
+
sarah winchester went crazy. that's sort of what's been happening to me. i didn't go crazy but i needed to talk, someone to listen to help me feel better.
- parker, on mental illness, anxiety specifically
about six months before i got pregnant with parker i (allegedly) had a conversation with my dad about the fact that rory and i had decided that we wouldn't have kids of our own. we might adopt some day but we wouldn't risk passing on the slew of heritable diseases that pollute our respective gene pools. this was
for one. maybe ms. maybe cancer. maybe asthma or alcoholism or big ears. certainly mental illness.
parker had her first anxiety attack two days ago. she's breathing deeply. she's practicing guided imagery. she's using words and asking for help when she needs it. she's better at this than me.