in the past month i've referred two people to bob (the therapist that rory and i saw). i remain convinced that none of those sessions were wasted on me/us. in spite of the outcome, it was money well spent. but it's weird, because in looking back at those old posts i cannot believe how much things have changed. it's like reading a work of fiction, or an autobiography of someone else's life. i don't recognize myself in that time. i don't recognize rory. i cannot remember what it felt like to be so completely and constantly terrified. i can't remember what it felt like to desperately want to fix things with rory and to hate him so much at the same time.
i visited with j3n today (yes, of snake & butterfly (she's moving to portland and the kids were good friends so we visited, okay?)) and she asked me how things with rory have been. good. really really good. i like him as one of the fathers to my children. and i like him as a human being again. i actually went out of my way to have lunch with him the other day. there's a strange level of comfort between him and i. and i suppose none of that would be possible without the strange and incredible level of comfort with danny and summer too. i genuinely hope that he's happy. i hope that we stay happy. i hope for shared holidays and vacations. it does get better. imagine that.
i visited with j3n today (yes, of snake & butterfly (she's moving to portland and the kids were good friends so we visited, okay?)) and she asked me how things with rory have been. good. really really good. i like him as one of the fathers to my children. and i like him as a human being again. i actually went out of my way to have lunch with him the other day. there's a strange level of comfort between him and i. and i suppose none of that would be possible without the strange and incredible level of comfort with danny and summer too. i genuinely hope that he's happy. i hope that we stay happy. i hope for shared holidays and vacations. it does get better. imagine that.