without getting into a long and sordid back story (and there always is one with me right?) let me just say that the winds of change are blowin' (sorry alabama et al). let's just say that i seem to attract alcoholic males into my very inner circle.
sidebar: rory is a drinking alcoholic (still working in bars) and has been for most of the past six or seven years. (at this point you're confused because the title has the word love in it. don't worry, i decidedly do not love him, or even hold a retrospective fondness for him). it's something that only became a problem in our marriage when he started working in restaurants, drinking heavily and cheating along the way. he's lost a couple of jobs due to drinking/stealing booze since he left. #fatheroftheyearwinning end sidebar.
in any case, i don't know why there are so many alcoholics in my life but i do know that addiction is something that i only understand in a very basic, post-psychology degree kind of way. my dad has been a smoker for most of his life, hates it and cannot - CANNOT- quit. and i desperately want him to, CANNOT understand why it is so here. additionally, there are drinkers and drys on both sides of my family but yet i, thankfully, do not seem to have inherited that genetic predisposition (mike? input?) to addiction. there's nothing in my life that i couldn't give up tomorrow. sure i might piss and moan if you took away my computer but i wouldn't go to drastic measures to get it back. so yeah, i have a hard time getting what it must be like. this has apparently not prevented me from passively enabling the alcoholics in my life. so without getting into all that, it is with great pleasure that i tell you that three very important people in my life have quit drinking and entered the "program."
/insert sigh of relief here>
my household is now dry. all of the alcohol has been carted off to rory's house (cute, right?). the wine glasses, the shot glasses, the booze and beer and wine don't live here any more. i know what the big book is. i'm slowly coming to understand the importance and nuances of meetings. we're playing board games and catch with the kids. things are better and yeah, i'm trying to let go of my fear of them failing (relapsing) and so far am totally thrilled with these grown ass men that are coming out of the woodwork. as for me and alcohol...i could take it or leave it and i'm leaving it for the long-term unforeseeable ish future. alanon anyone?
i love this <-- man to a rather disgusting degree and i intend to marry him if he ever proposes (heather?).