scene: 6am, my bed
me: (sleeping)
renzo: (whispering) mama? (tap tap tap)
me: (rolling over) yes, lorenzo?
renzo: mama, which end does the baby come out?
me: huh?
renzo: does the baby come out the bottom or the penis?
me: huh? uh, neither. boys don't have babies. they come out of the vagina of the mama.
renzo: (sad) does that mean i won't get to be a daddy?
me: no, you can still be a daddy.
renzo: but how? i can't have a baby.
me: yes, but the daddy puts the baby in the mama.
renzo: (big eyes) how?
me: dear lord. come back after 8. we'll talk about this later.
scene: two weeks later, in the car
me: someday when you're a daddy you can have this rocking horse for your baby.
renzo: but i can't be a daddy, remember? boys don't have babies. only girls have babies! parker can have it!
me: no remember, the daddy puts the baby in the mama?
renzo: how?
me: with his penis.
renzo: (appalled) what!?!? i don't want to do that.
me: you will...