Oh, it was the first time I fell in love / the first time I felt my heart / it was the first time I sang out loud all through the night / but before I knew I was prisoner / and I still can't find a way to make it right lost, / before I knew I was a prisoner
-bb
this is mostly a joyful, productive, and generally lovey-dovey time in my life. i have lots and lots to say about my beautiful children, my booming business, my new obsession with tennis (!), and so on and so forth but for now, gratitude upon gratitude for the challenge and contentedness that is d. this has become quickly (2+ years already?) domestic, oddly marriage-like but more personal-growth-y and with better sex. step-parenting is hard. and co-parenting is hard. and christmas apart is hard. but yes, yes this the happiness of knowing you're doing something fucking difficult that's totally worth it. this is a man who is perpetually disgruntled, steadfast in his manhood, able to set me into motion when i'm settled into my stillness, and excessively layered. this is me, realizing that no one ever really changes (despite pushing and molding and passive-aggressive withholding) and falling asleep smiling in spite of it.