scrambling busy. kids are out of school. d2 left yesterday for southern california with his mama and grandparents. he will be spending the school year down there but we're hoping to have him for long breaks and d (and the kids and i at times) will be going down there for visits too.
things with bk have continued to be stable. i received my c/s in full and three days EARLY last week and i just about fell over. he's being generally more friendly, considerate, and interested in the kids than he had been. all good things. that said, i'm realizing that the boundaries that seemed to be in place must have been in large part from miss bk and her discomfort (?) with me having a coparenting relationship with bk. things are as confusingly casual as they were before, and while he hasn't walked in on me in the bath lately (over 2.5 years!), he came up behind me and squeezed my shoulders. i turned, fully expecting d to be standing behind me, and just about jumped out of my skin because it felt, on a gut level, so innapropriate.
s&b is crazy, out of its mind (and yes it is its own entity now) busy. dad and ben and i spent about 6 hours down at the kitchen replenishing some of our inventory. we've yet to be able to get ahead because regardless of what we bring to the markets, we sell out of things that people just have to have. i can't even manage to stay ahead of our raw ingredients. seriously, in what wonky universe does little old s&b have need for 500 pounds of sugar, 70 pounds of cocoa butter, 5 gallons of agave, and hundreds upon hundreds of pounds of cacao beans (we've devolved from liquor to nibs to beans and finally to unpeeled beans that ben (very slowly) has been hand peeling)?
things with bk have continued to be stable. i received my c/s in full and three days EARLY last week and i just about fell over. he's being generally more friendly, considerate, and interested in the kids than he had been. all good things. that said, i'm realizing that the boundaries that seemed to be in place must have been in large part from miss bk and her discomfort (?) with me having a coparenting relationship with bk. things are as confusingly casual as they were before, and while he hasn't walked in on me in the bath lately (over 2.5 years!), he came up behind me and squeezed my shoulders. i turned, fully expecting d to be standing behind me, and just about jumped out of my skin because it felt, on a gut level, so innapropriate.
s&b is crazy, out of its mind (and yes it is its own entity now) busy. dad and ben and i spent about 6 hours down at the kitchen replenishing some of our inventory. we've yet to be able to get ahead because regardless of what we bring to the markets, we sell out of things that people just have to have. i can't even manage to stay ahead of our raw ingredients. seriously, in what wonky universe does little old s&b have need for 500 pounds of sugar, 70 pounds of cocoa butter, 5 gallons of agave, and hundreds upon hundreds of pounds of cacao beans (we've devolved from liquor to nibs to beans and finally to unpeeled beans that ben (very slowly) has been hand peeling)?