it happened. i got the 'big' apology. r called this morning and told me he was sorry for how he's acted the past three years, how he ended things, and how he changed the course of our relationship, irreversibly. he acknowledged that it probably is too little too late but said that he hopes we can work and being better coparent, and friends. i think my jaw hit the floor. i told him that i never had expected an apology to come at all - though i knew i deserved one - and therefore it came earlier than i had hoped.
he also asked me if i thought his relationship with miss bk was worth working on. after what he's divulged to me of the situation (a lot) he must have known that my answer would be a resounding, 'um, no.' namely because of the changes i've seen in parker in the past week or so. she's proudly announced that 'i get to see my daddy more now!' he's got a chance to repair things, to change the course of things again, find someone who won't make him choose between being a good father and good partner. for the first time this all began i'm deeply hopeful (in an unattached way...or a way that doesn't feel like me giving up some control) that he will be the dad that he was, an every day dad if he wants to be. it's a weightless and happy feeling. it's what the kids deserve. i'm fucking going to believe it true. believe with me.
he also asked me if i thought his relationship with miss bk was worth working on. after what he's divulged to me of the situation (a lot) he must have known that my answer would be a resounding, 'um, no.' namely because of the changes i've seen in parker in the past week or so. she's proudly announced that 'i get to see my daddy more now!' he's got a chance to repair things, to change the course of things again, find someone who won't make him choose between being a good father and good partner. for the first time this all began i'm deeply hopeful (in an unattached way...or a way that doesn't feel like me giving up some control) that he will be the dad that he was, an every day dad if he wants to be. it's a weightless and happy feeling. it's what the kids deserve. i'm fucking going to believe it true. believe with me.