so you know, on the series finale of beverly hills 90210, how david and donna get married and it's all cry-y and white and floofy? and you know how they're all teary and poemy when they're saying their vows and kelly chooses dylan, and that's the only thing that makes brandon leaving two seasons ago okay? and how matt does the chivalrous thing and and tells her that she made the right decision? (watch this youtube, seriously.) and everything is a happy ending? i'm okay with that. it's all good in the proverbial hood. in fact, it's what i want for me and mine. just minus the white and floofy.
because i'm terrified of the white and floofy. of the bazillion bridesmaids (eight to be exact). of the stupid overpriced cake and the contrived dj music... but not the marriage. or the vows (that might eventually be broken, i can survive that). and i'm not scared of partnership or family-tied-togetherness or inlaws (more on that shortly). if i ever am to get married again i want a different kind of wedding. either terrifically small or smallish and in a (literal) circle. [not many people came forward to urge r and i to work things out, to offer their support or their advice but i am SO thankful to those that did, even (or especially) given the outcome. at least i can say i gave it my best shot. *shrug*] so next time (if there is one and i want that, but i'm not like, fixated on it) i want all of our family and friends to take a vow as well, to help us celebrate the good times and endure the bad times. it doesn't matter if the day was (is) perfect. a 4 (5?) decker cake doesn't predict the sustainability of a relationship, a family. i don't want perfection next time, but grit, maybe even sand. a dress that is markedly not white and flowers that i love but could have grown and picked myself (in other words some flowering cactus or geraniums because i kill everything else).
i'll finish this post just as soon as i get 'the pictures' of 'the accident.' m'kay? ;)
because i'm terrified of the white and floofy. of the bazillion bridesmaids (eight to be exact). of the stupid overpriced cake and the contrived dj music... but not the marriage. or the vows (that might eventually be broken, i can survive that). and i'm not scared of partnership or family-tied-togetherness or inlaws (more on that shortly). if i ever am to get married again i want a different kind of wedding. either terrifically small or smallish and in a (literal) circle. [not many people came forward to urge r and i to work things out, to offer their support or their advice but i am SO thankful to those that did, even (or especially) given the outcome. at least i can say i gave it my best shot. *shrug*] so next time (if there is one and i want that, but i'm not like, fixated on it) i want all of our family and friends to take a vow as well, to help us celebrate the good times and endure the bad times. it doesn't matter if the day was (is) perfect. a 4 (5?) decker cake doesn't predict the sustainability of a relationship, a family. i don't want perfection next time, but grit, maybe even sand. a dress that is markedly not white and flowers that i love but could have grown and picked myself (in other words some flowering cactus or geraniums because i kill everything else).
i'll finish this post just as soon as i get 'the pictures' of 'the accident.' m'kay? ;)