bk called at 3.35 to let me know he was going to be a bit late picking the kids up (around 6.15). i appreciated the heads up.
he called at 6.30 to let me know he was on his way and did i mind if he just fed the kids something here at my house 'cause he was really busy and didn't have much time. i told him i had things to do and how long exactly would he be with the kids. he said he needed to leave by 7.30. at this point i should have just said, 'nah, it isn't worth it. you'll see them tomorrow' but i didn't want to fight so i just said 'ok.'
i had already made the kids hamburgers to take to his place (i sent them with chicken on monday) so i sat them down at the table and made them some veggies and got them each a bowl of yogurt. he walked in while all this was going on and tried to help me but it's hard not to feel like a stranger is looking in my refrigerator so i pretty much just insisted on doing it myself. by the time the kids were set it was 6.45.
d and i left to grab a bite to eat. i told him we only had 45 minutes. he was less than thrilled (understandably). it's not often we go out without any of the kids...and baisically he doesn't like to see bk ruin my/our plans, bail on his responsibilities, or push me around in any way. i pretty much immediately regretted leaving bk in the house unsupervised (i doubt if he'd snoop but hey, i wouldn't dream of being left alone in his/miss bk/uncle bk's home). d said he'd rather we turn around, tell bk that 45 minutes was ridiculous, and bring the kids with us on our 'date.'
we rolled back up at about 7.05. bk was just clearing the table and d looked at him and said 'we decided we can't do anything in only 45 minutes so we're gonna just take the kids with us now.' and bk just said 'okay.' like, no big deal. he said he thought it would be nice for me to have an hour and not to have to feed the kids dinner. i guess some part of we was hoping he'd turn to d and say, 'you know what, i value this time with my kids, even if it's only a measly 45 minutes.' but he didn't. he was polite enough and said he'd see the kids tomorrow. last friday p had a really hard time leaving because d2 was here and she wanted to stay with him. so we agreed to meet at a neutral local to do the swap. i think this may be less stressful anyway...
i can't figure out bk's position. maybe miss bk just really doesn't want animal products in the house and he's not a comitted veg*n and he's trying to avoid a conflict with either of us. maybe he's just busy. maybe he's happy to see the kids 5-10 hours a week and go on about his life the rest of the time. maybe he really doesn't feel like he needs to pay child support. he seems earnest at times. he seems like he knows that things are ridiculous (he doesn't often defend his position in any way, but instead takes it and then comes at me in unexpected ways and at unexpected times). i guess part of me wishes he'd take a stand on some of this because it would mean that he loves the kids and intends to be there for them.
he called at 6.30 to let me know he was on his way and did i mind if he just fed the kids something here at my house 'cause he was really busy and didn't have much time. i told him i had things to do and how long exactly would he be with the kids. he said he needed to leave by 7.30. at this point i should have just said, 'nah, it isn't worth it. you'll see them tomorrow' but i didn't want to fight so i just said 'ok.'
i had already made the kids hamburgers to take to his place (i sent them with chicken on monday) so i sat them down at the table and made them some veggies and got them each a bowl of yogurt. he walked in while all this was going on and tried to help me but it's hard not to feel like a stranger is looking in my refrigerator so i pretty much just insisted on doing it myself. by the time the kids were set it was 6.45.
d and i left to grab a bite to eat. i told him we only had 45 minutes. he was less than thrilled (understandably). it's not often we go out without any of the kids...and baisically he doesn't like to see bk ruin my/our plans, bail on his responsibilities, or push me around in any way. i pretty much immediately regretted leaving bk in the house unsupervised (i doubt if he'd snoop but hey, i wouldn't dream of being left alone in his/miss bk/uncle bk's home). d said he'd rather we turn around, tell bk that 45 minutes was ridiculous, and bring the kids with us on our 'date.'
we rolled back up at about 7.05. bk was just clearing the table and d looked at him and said 'we decided we can't do anything in only 45 minutes so we're gonna just take the kids with us now.' and bk just said 'okay.' like, no big deal. he said he thought it would be nice for me to have an hour and not to have to feed the kids dinner. i guess some part of we was hoping he'd turn to d and say, 'you know what, i value this time with my kids, even if it's only a measly 45 minutes.' but he didn't. he was polite enough and said he'd see the kids tomorrow. last friday p had a really hard time leaving because d2 was here and she wanted to stay with him. so we agreed to meet at a neutral local to do the swap. i think this may be less stressful anyway...
i can't figure out bk's position. maybe miss bk just really doesn't want animal products in the house and he's not a comitted veg*n and he's trying to avoid a conflict with either of us. maybe he's just busy. maybe he's happy to see the kids 5-10 hours a week and go on about his life the rest of the time. maybe he really doesn't feel like he needs to pay child support. he seems earnest at times. he seems like he knows that things are ridiculous (he doesn't often defend his position in any way, but instead takes it and then comes at me in unexpected ways and at unexpected times). i guess part of me wishes he'd take a stand on some of this because it would mean that he loves the kids and intends to be there for them.