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i'm sorry, did you not hear me? it's a DO IT YOURSELF COFFIN PLAN. think about what exactly this entails people. unless you are going into the casket building and selling business you have to know someone who you think is going to die imminently. i mean, i don't think you could build this thing in an afternoon. it takes forethought. (the reviewer says it took him about 80 hours to build it 'for a friend who will be using it in a few months.' do i have any friends that love me that much? i wonder...) like, oh looks like so-and-so is on his way out. guess we'd better order the casket bed frame and hardware. crap! it's sold out! oh, and we'll need a couple of those antique nickel hinges and rod brackets too. son, you go on down to the lumber yard and get us some cedar. and honey? you got any of that blue satin left that you used to make those bridesmaid's dresses outta? i reckon that'll work just fine.
it's not that i'm against do it yourself, per se. and honestly, it's a crock what mortuaries charge for their caskets. [even costco knows this. they sell them! (i like that they warn you, in all caps, of this: THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER EVIDENCE THAT ANY CASKET WITH A SEALING DEVICE WILL PRESERVE HUMAN REMAINS. gee, really?) please don't bury me in something called 'the edward' or 'the kentucky rose' or 'the mother.' yipes! actually please don't bury me at all. i want to be creamated. i mean, not now. like, when i die. later. a lot later.] i don't know exactly what it is that squicks me out so much about it. if i knew i was going to die and that someone was building my casket for me, i wonder if i'd wanna be involved. like, go down to the fabric store and get a fabric i liked? i think that part of the squickyness has to do with the fact that the ad says 'casket plans and closet organizers.' as though they have about the same emotional weight or something. as someone who has recently installed new closet organizers i can tell you that it was a devastating experience. but perhaps not as devastating as the death of a loved one...