parker is starting to put things together. and it hurts to watch it. and in a some sick way, it's a relief because it means that i won't have to tell her the story, because she'll know it from the inside out.
a few days ago, when bk cancelled, i turned to parker and said daddy isn't coming this evening. "but isn't it a daddy day?" yes, it is. but he decided to work instead. she paused and thought for a minute. "do you think he wanted to see me?" probably, but you'll have to ask him. long pause. "do you think that he really really really really wanted to see me and he decided he wanted to go to work more?" i don't know sweetheart, maybe.
and then, today, while we were driving she said she missed her daddy and i said i'm sorry your daddy and i don't live together. it isn't your fault and it isn't fair for you but i think it's the right thing. "it's hard." yes, it is and i'm sorry. "he left when i was only one years old. i was little." you were a little older than that but yes, you were little. after a few minutes she asked "why do you think he left me mama?"
a few days ago, when bk cancelled, i turned to parker and said daddy isn't coming this evening. "but isn't it a daddy day?" yes, it is. but he decided to work instead. she paused and thought for a minute. "do you think he wanted to see me?" probably, but you'll have to ask him. long pause. "do you think that he really really really really wanted to see me and he decided he wanted to go to work more?" i don't know sweetheart, maybe.
and then, today, while we were driving she said she missed her daddy and i said i'm sorry your daddy and i don't live together. it isn't your fault and it isn't fair for you but i think it's the right thing. "it's hard." yes, it is and i'm sorry. "he left when i was only one years old. i was little." you were a little older than that but yes, you were little. after a few minutes she asked "why do you think he left me mama?"