case in point! 'superdad-whomeverpants' has given me a lot to think about (as he and his many incarnations typically do). this last comment (see below) seems worthy of a post and direct counterpoint, don't you think? i will not suggest that i have all the (right) answers but anyway...
SD: My youth was not wasted and I am married to a real woman. An independent, educated, sexy, professional, take charge, assertive woman and I am very, very, very happy : ) .
ME: that's funny, i'm also a real woman: an independent, educated, sexy, professional, take charge, assertive woman. the truth is, there are a lot of men out there that can't handle women as strong as we are. it takes a very self-assured man and apparently bk wasn't that. i'm not sure how raising a family is 'wasting a youth' anyway...glad you're happy (really!) in any case.
SD: My point is as a man, I can see how a man (or other form of person) that got married and tied down with two kids in his youth (too early) and was unhappy -- and would be unhappy if he were to return to that lifestyle -- would want to separate from that lifestyle and live FREE until such time as he has had his fill.
ME: i can see how that could happen too! i witnessed it with my very own eyes! i'm sorry that you (he) feel(s) that we got married/had kids 'too early.' but guess what? we were adults. and young adulthood (youth?) is not a cop-out. that's bullshit. there were a million chances along the way when he could have said 'whoa. this is too much, we gotta slow this down.' in fact, when we were 17 and i was diagnosed with cancer, i told him: now is your chance. if you can't stick this out to the end (and by that i meant my treatment or death whichever came first) then please cut-and-run now. i can't have you bailing on me in the middle of this crap. and he looked at me and told me 'of course i'll stand by you.' and when we were 19 and he proposed, i didn't hold a gun to his head. when we were 20 and engaged and i said hold up, i need to sow my wild oats so i can be sure about all of this, do you need to? he said 'NO' and didn't. and when we were almost 21 and married (and he sobbed tears of joy, after SIX years together, no rushing here), he didn't waver. and when we found out that i might not be able to have children because of my treatment, and we got pregnant at 21, we decided we wanted to be parents. when at 23 we bought our house and tried (sucessfully) to get pregnant, i'm pretty sure he was on board. when at 24 he found himself overwhelmed with life (because shit, having a toddler and a newborn is overwhelming at ANY age) and behind a bar with a woman he was attracted to, he should have been a MAN. bk found his youth 25. his morals went out the window and instead of standing up and saying 'i fucked up. i hate this life' he lied and cheated and holy-mother-of-god abandoned. his. fucking. children. emotionally. physically. financially. i hope he gets his goddamn fill. he's a shadow man at this point and he better find something to fill that void (other than alcohol). yeah, i can see how it happens too but 25 is plenty old enough to keep your junk in your pants and take care of your crap. just look at me.
SD: Once he has had his fill of living the bachelor life (or at least one without the responsibility of child raising) and recognizing that he may never want a 'straight' life, he may mature and have a family of his own in his time. He may have realized that he has but one life to live and did not want to waste it forcing himself to be someone that 'society' or the judeo-christian ethic expects him to be.
ME: unfortunately for him, that isn't how it's going to play out...he can skip out on a bunch of the child rearing but that won't aleviate him of his financial obligations to his children. not even i can forgive that debt. the california government says the kids get what they deserve. in that regard, he's fucked.
and for the record, he HAS a family of his own (the cute one with the side ponytail and the rascally one who just stood on the table and shattered my water glass, yeah, that is his family). ignoring them won't make them go away. if he didn't want a straight life he should have thought about that before.
and i challenge you to find one group of people (other than other deadbeats or serial killers) who would condone abandoning his kids for blunts, bitches, and forties (excuse the cultural reference). it has absolutely nothing to do with judeo-christian ethics. i'm an atheist. ha!
SD: He needed to break out of the mold that was strangling him and make a new, more fulfilling life for himself under his own terms.
ME: are you projecting?
SD: It is a shame that he chooses not to be part of his children's lives but clearly it is understandable given the age at which the burdens were placed upon him. He chose to free himself.
ME: it is a shame, for him. these are amazing people. and uh, baloney.
SD: We can not know his pain, as we can not know the pleasure he is experiencing now in relation to his past life stuck in the family trap with a woman with whom he was no longer happy.
ME: i don't give a flying fuck that he was no longer happy with me. i don't give a rat's ass that he may be feeling pain or pleasure now. that is seperate and apart from the fact that he procreated with me TWICE. he built his own 'trap.' all i care about is the fact that he is repeatedly hurting our children.
SD: I am not condoning this type of scenario , it is just a perspective I would offer to those that are expressing they wish violence upon BurgerKing.
ME: glad to hear you aren't condoning this behavior. i don't wish him harm. how then, would my kids get their child support!? *wink*
SD: Hate is not in my menu of feelings and I wish only to share a perspective that may free people in here on their hate and ill will.
ME: it's lovey dovey lovey dovey all the time around here...haven't you gotten the memo? unfortunately i'm not sure that this perspective with alleviate anyone of their ill will.
i'll be back with more later on the right to happiness, entitlement, taking responsibility for one's actions...etc. :D oh, and how i'm sick of grown people acting like children and everyone tippy-toeing around about it instead of calling them out.
SD: My youth was not wasted and I am married to a real woman. An independent, educated, sexy, professional, take charge, assertive woman and I am very, very, very happy : ) .
ME: that's funny, i'm also a real woman: an independent, educated, sexy, professional, take charge, assertive woman. the truth is, there are a lot of men out there that can't handle women as strong as we are. it takes a very self-assured man and apparently bk wasn't that. i'm not sure how raising a family is 'wasting a youth' anyway...glad you're happy (really!) in any case.
SD: My point is as a man, I can see how a man (or other form of person) that got married and tied down with two kids in his youth (too early) and was unhappy -- and would be unhappy if he were to return to that lifestyle -- would want to separate from that lifestyle and live FREE until such time as he has had his fill.
ME: i can see how that could happen too! i witnessed it with my very own eyes! i'm sorry that you (he) feel(s) that we got married/had kids 'too early.' but guess what? we were adults. and young adulthood (youth?) is not a cop-out. that's bullshit. there were a million chances along the way when he could have said 'whoa. this is too much, we gotta slow this down.' in fact, when we were 17 and i was diagnosed with cancer, i told him: now is your chance. if you can't stick this out to the end (and by that i meant my treatment or death whichever came first) then please cut-and-run now. i can't have you bailing on me in the middle of this crap. and he looked at me and told me 'of course i'll stand by you.' and when we were 19 and he proposed, i didn't hold a gun to his head. when we were 20 and engaged and i said hold up, i need to sow my wild oats so i can be sure about all of this, do you need to? he said 'NO' and didn't. and when we were almost 21 and married (and he sobbed tears of joy, after SIX years together, no rushing here), he didn't waver. and when we found out that i might not be able to have children because of my treatment, and we got pregnant at 21, we decided we wanted to be parents. when at 23 we bought our house and tried (sucessfully) to get pregnant, i'm pretty sure he was on board. when at 24 he found himself overwhelmed with life (because shit, having a toddler and a newborn is overwhelming at ANY age) and behind a bar with a woman he was attracted to, he should have been a MAN. bk found his youth 25. his morals went out the window and instead of standing up and saying 'i fucked up. i hate this life' he lied and cheated and holy-mother-of-god abandoned. his. fucking. children. emotionally. physically. financially. i hope he gets his goddamn fill. he's a shadow man at this point and he better find something to fill that void (other than alcohol). yeah, i can see how it happens too but 25 is plenty old enough to keep your junk in your pants and take care of your crap. just look at me.
SD: Once he has had his fill of living the bachelor life (or at least one without the responsibility of child raising) and recognizing that he may never want a 'straight' life, he may mature and have a family of his own in his time. He may have realized that he has but one life to live and did not want to waste it forcing himself to be someone that 'society' or the judeo-christian ethic expects him to be.
ME: unfortunately for him, that isn't how it's going to play out...he can skip out on a bunch of the child rearing but that won't aleviate him of his financial obligations to his children. not even i can forgive that debt. the california government says the kids get what they deserve. in that regard, he's fucked.
and for the record, he HAS a family of his own (the cute one with the side ponytail and the rascally one who just stood on the table and shattered my water glass, yeah, that is his family). ignoring them won't make them go away. if he didn't want a straight life he should have thought about that before.
and i challenge you to find one group of people (other than other deadbeats or serial killers) who would condone abandoning his kids for blunts, bitches, and forties (excuse the cultural reference). it has absolutely nothing to do with judeo-christian ethics. i'm an atheist. ha!
SD: He needed to break out of the mold that was strangling him and make a new, more fulfilling life for himself under his own terms.
ME: are you projecting?
SD: It is a shame that he chooses not to be part of his children's lives but clearly it is understandable given the age at which the burdens were placed upon him. He chose to free himself.
ME: it is a shame, for him. these are amazing people. and uh, baloney.
SD: We can not know his pain, as we can not know the pleasure he is experiencing now in relation to his past life stuck in the family trap with a woman with whom he was no longer happy.
ME: i don't give a flying fuck that he was no longer happy with me. i don't give a rat's ass that he may be feeling pain or pleasure now. that is seperate and apart from the fact that he procreated with me TWICE. he built his own 'trap.' all i care about is the fact that he is repeatedly hurting our children.
SD: I am not condoning this type of scenario , it is just a perspective I would offer to those that are expressing they wish violence upon BurgerKing.
ME: glad to hear you aren't condoning this behavior. i don't wish him harm. how then, would my kids get their child support!? *wink*
SD: Hate is not in my menu of feelings and I wish only to share a perspective that may free people in here on their hate and ill will.
ME: it's lovey dovey lovey dovey all the time around here...haven't you gotten the memo? unfortunately i'm not sure that this perspective with alleviate anyone of their ill will.
i'll be back with more later on the right to happiness, entitlement, taking responsibility for one's actions...etc. :D oh, and how i'm sick of grown people acting like children and everyone tippy-toeing around about it instead of calling them out.