i had a teeth cleaning done this morning. i generally love going to the dentist which is weird especially considering that my first dental experience at 2.5 involved the dentist covering my mouth and nose with his hand so that i couldn't cry (my mom saved me, thank you). but i digress. i've been going to the same office forever (since leaving the aforementioned office) and though my guy retired several years ago and i have a slightly less fabulous dentist, it's still a great group of people (no trying to smother small kids, fondle patients, etc). imagine my horror when i was called back to find a new hygienist. yeah. i know. right?!
first she looked at my old (4 years) x-rays and says, you ever get that big hole fixed? my only cavity, a big 'un requiring a root canal because i was pregnant with miss p when i happened and couldn't have it fixed. um, no. there is actually a rotting tooth with an open nerve in the back of my mouth that has been festering for like, YEARS lady! yes, it was fixed. then she does new x-rays to confirm for herself that this is true. m'kay. she starts in with the poking around with those awful needle-y things on sticks like you use to get the crab meat out of the claws (wait which part do i like?). she shakes her head and sighs. never had braces, i see. i'm appropriately ashamed. *garble* no.
the rest of the ordeal involved a good amount of blood and wincing. and also me thinking for the gajillionth time about how there must be some awful place in every dentist office that all the spit goes after it is sucked into the spit sucker thingie. and then how they probably send all that spit somewhere and there is this incredible disgusting lake of sucked dental spit somewhere in the middle of a desert or something. i have this thought everysingletime. gross and totally illogical. and this time since i was having x-rays done i remembered back to when i was in cancer treatment and i'd had my first rounds of chemo and i started radiation and they tattooed me with little dots to make it easier to set the machines and how they'd set it all up and leave the room and close the big lead door that was 6 inches thick and turn everything on like i was in a giant microwave and how i could feel the radiation, like there was a ghost sitting on my chest. and then i started thinking that how can you really trust a woman who has to wear welder's gear on her face to protect from mouth splatter and why in the world would you want to pick crud out of other people's teeth for a living?
first she looked at my old (4 years) x-rays and says, you ever get that big hole fixed? my only cavity, a big 'un requiring a root canal because i was pregnant with miss p when i happened and couldn't have it fixed. um, no. there is actually a rotting tooth with an open nerve in the back of my mouth that has been festering for like, YEARS lady! yes, it was fixed. then she does new x-rays to confirm for herself that this is true. m'kay. she starts in with the poking around with those awful needle-y things on sticks like you use to get the crab meat out of the claws (wait which part do i like?). she shakes her head and sighs. never had braces, i see. i'm appropriately ashamed. *garble* no.
the rest of the ordeal involved a good amount of blood and wincing. and also me thinking for the gajillionth time about how there must be some awful place in every dentist office that all the spit goes after it is sucked into the spit sucker thingie. and then how they probably send all that spit somewhere and there is this incredible disgusting lake of sucked dental spit somewhere in the middle of a desert or something. i have this thought everysingletime. gross and totally illogical. and this time since i was having x-rays done i remembered back to when i was in cancer treatment and i'd had my first rounds of chemo and i started radiation and they tattooed me with little dots to make it easier to set the machines and how they'd set it all up and leave the room and close the big lead door that was 6 inches thick and turn everything on like i was in a giant microwave and how i could feel the radiation, like there was a ghost sitting on my chest. and then i started thinking that how can you really trust a woman who has to wear welder's gear on her face to protect from mouth splatter and why in the world would you want to pick crud out of other people's teeth for a living?