laying down the rules for my daughter
you must do all the things that i always wanted to do but was too afraid to try. you should be a good person, but you'll only know what that entails when you screw up really badly a few times. try and keep your fingernails trimmed, nobody likes a tramp. always remember to brush your teeth, you'll never get anywhere in life with poor oral hygiene. don't have sex before marriage. don't get married before you are thirty. never leave your arm hanging out the door on the subway, it will close on you. don't listen to your father, ever. dance naked once in a while, but never in front of a boy. learn to love the ocean. don't listen to crappy music, which will rot your brain. have good taste. only let people take photographs of you in black and white. don't make friends with people named tammy or arthur. don't perm your hair. shop at independant bookstores. take religion with a grain of salt. never keep birds as pets, they hate cages. remember that sucess isn't always measured in money. never let a man hit you. never let anyone hit you. have seconds on dessert; don't drive though the desert alone. enjoy yourself. don't jump rope with hard candy in your mouth. if someone twists your ear, bite their hand. remember, your mom is only human.(c) celeste mylastname 2007
my professor penned: "this looks like the beginnings of a story-nicely done." huzzah! maybe i should have taken some of my own advice.