there were a couple of comments/questions on the last post that are worth addressing i think! i love comments...thanks brock.
anonymous said:
thank you (genuinely) for your concern. this whole thing is a very delicate dance. i believe that in order to do continue to raise my kids as the *awesome* single mom that i am i need to be flexible, forgiving, protective, strong, assertive- among a million other things. he does not walk all over me. in fact, one of the main reasons he said that he left was that i was too strong, too able to ask for what i need. he doesn't decide when he comes. we decide. i can't and won't make him stay when he's seeming tense, snappish or generally wanting to get the hell out. that is worse for the kids; parker's behavior has proven that. also, our divorce is in process and i will be writing in a clause that says if he is more than 15 minutes late the visit is cancelled. i'm trying to play nice until everything is finalized. everything i'm doing i'm doing to protect my kids. everything.
an mdc mama said:
if parker hadn't called i would have gone to my mom's and relaxed for a bit. i suspect miss p picked up on daddy's vibe and that's why she called. i've told her that ANYtime she needs me while she's with him she is to call. and she did and i came home!
ALSO: i have an appointment with bob on wednesday, alone, to talk about some of these issues. you know, a more frank discussion of how i think things are going.
anonymous said:
Stop letting him do this. Stop letting him call all of the shots. Your kids are seeing him walk all over you. He decides when he comes, when he actually shows up, when he leaves-- he is making ALL of the decisions. Change the locks. If he doesn't show up when he's supposed to show up, lock the door. If he continues to be unreliable, file for a legal separation and file paperwork for visitation. He is manipulating the hell out of you right now, and it is not setting a good precedent. You cannot save him from himself right now. You need to be worried about saving yourself and your kids from him.
thank you (genuinely) for your concern. this whole thing is a very delicate dance. i believe that in order to do continue to raise my kids as the *awesome* single mom that i am i need to be flexible, forgiving, protective, strong, assertive- among a million other things. he does not walk all over me. in fact, one of the main reasons he said that he left was that i was too strong, too able to ask for what i need. he doesn't decide when he comes. we decide. i can't and won't make him stay when he's seeming tense, snappish or generally wanting to get the hell out. that is worse for the kids; parker's behavior has proven that. also, our divorce is in process and i will be writing in a clause that says if he is more than 15 minutes late the visit is cancelled. i'm trying to play nice until everything is finalized. everything i'm doing i'm doing to protect my kids. everything.
an mdc mama said:
So what would have happened if you had not come home @ 7:45?
if parker hadn't called i would have gone to my mom's and relaxed for a bit. i suspect miss p picked up on daddy's vibe and that's why she called. i've told her that ANYtime she needs me while she's with him she is to call. and she did and i came home!
ALSO: i have an appointment with bob on wednesday, alone, to talk about some of these issues. you know, a more frank discussion of how i think things are going.