i don't miss his clothes in my closet. i don't miss making decisions together. i don't miss having to compromise. i miss having another (adult-size) warm body in the house. i miss the innocent belief that he'd never hurt me. i miss the hurtling (maybe me dragging him?) together towards an always and forever sort of future.
i want to be on the other side of this. i want to be with someone who wants me. i want to not think about this situation 500 times a day. i'm tired of eating sleeping breathing it. i want to be beyond this, not just surviving this. i feel like mylife right now is waiting for something else to happen: a divorce, a tantrum, a new tooth. i'm living for the next event, vacation, appointment. it's a shitty feeling to not be actively participating in one's life. so anyway, i keep getting stuff done somehow.
today the kids and i went to the ymca and dropped our letter (see below) off with our financial aid forms. i really hope they approve us for a membership.
To Whom It May Concern:
I am applying for financial assistance for a YMCA membership for myself, my daughter, and my son (Parker 3 years and Lorenzo 9 months) and summer camp for my daughter. My husband left our family unexpectedly in November of 2006 and I am currently raising our children by myself. I am a stay at home mom and receive only sporadic financial support from my husband. The only other support we receive is in the form of food vouchers through the WIC program.
I have included our tax returns from 2006 but these do not reflect our current financial situation. My husband was fired from his job in February and we were forced to spend most of our savings. I only have one pay stub from his current employer, which I have also included.
A membership to the YMCA would allow my daughter to interact with other children her age. (She was enrolled in preschool but I had to pull her out in January, as our family could no longer afford it). It would also allow me the occasional much-needed break and opportunity to take care of myself physically during a very stressful time.
Thank you for your consideration,Celeste Mylastname
oh yeah, and happy passover...