so, beware of oddly normal picture type posts that are followed by more honest emotional posts!
biker 'renzo
happy p (with pen on her face)
i'm scared that r is an alcoholic or drug user or seriously mentally ill.
i'm scared that r isn't any of these things and there is no good answer.
i'm scared that even though i keep thinking i've found the bottom of this emotionally, i'll keep re-finding a new bottom.
i'm scared that i'll be raising these kids alone.
i'm scared of how this will affect our children now and in the future.
i'm scared that r will try and take the kids.
i'm scared that r has no interest in seeing the kids much less taking them.
i'm scared to stop hoping for a future together.
i'm scared that i already know that a future may not be possible.
i'm scared that you can live with/love/know a person for 10+ years and not really know them at all.
i'm scared that r is going to continue to spend our money like water and the kids and i will be left dependent on family and friends.
i'm scared that i'll never get hold r again and truly be held by him.
i'm scared that the day will come when i have to pack up all his stuff and they'll be nothing left of him in our home.
i'm scared that r will find someone new and be happier with that person.
i'm scared that i can't trust r and i'll never be able to trust him.