so yeah, my surgery apparently went well. i had it done at menlo surgical hospital instead of stanford this time and the place was like a fucking hotel. amazing. danny and dad came with me and the whole thing was mellow and relaxed. we got there at 8:30, surgery started at 9:45 (early!) and i think i was at home in bed by 2:30 or so. i am feeling MUCH less affected by the anesthesia (not surprising, i was out for about 2 hours instead of 6 this time) which is nice. that said, since i wasn't completely knocked on my ass i completely overdid it the first five days. i took myself off of pain medication (narcotics after two days and then ibuprofin/tylenol three days ago) so that i self-limit my activity because i actually am sore. more sore in many ways than after the mastectomy which is surprising, or maybe it's just that i forgot that the other surgery hurt. there are apparently three internal layers of stitches under my armpits to create the foob pocket, hopefully preventing them from wandering outward from the downward, and outward, pressure of my chest muscles. i'm feeling soreness/burning under there and at the incision sites, with occasional stabby or spasmy pains. took a valium the last two nights for that.
so yeah, i apparently spent a shit-ton of time researching what taking boobs out would be like and almost no time researching what having perma-foobs put back in would be like. i woke up from my surgery and was absolutely homicidal because i looked down and thought i had small B cups. apparently reconstructed-cohesive-gel-sub-muscular implants change over time. i expected to come out looking like a barbie doll. or like someone who had just had a boob job. derp. i can already see changes since earlier in the week. i guess the muscles will relax and give me a more natural look. i never thought i'd be excited to see my breasts sag a bit but on tuesday i was seriously mourning the loss of my expanders.
why the hell are my pec muscles so veiny? seriously, i have terrible circulation from chemo. did all my veins reroute to my foob skin? ANYway. see how much closer they are? way better. fyi, these are one week post op. having some of that lovely swelling in the armpits again - buttpits?teardrop foobs are apparently pretty round to start. but note that the top 'pole' is a lot less full and sticky-outy? scar is almost identical but even cleaner than before on the right foob. only glue and tape on on the incision. aaaand ALB is angrier as always. i'm hoping that crinkly part on the outer edge is just from the tape not being smooth. dr. mcswoony fixed the incision on this side since as you'll recall the right side was beautiful and the this side was um, done by edward scissorhands or something. in any case i can feel there is improvement. here is the lovely surgical bra (vest?!) i've been wearing for the past 8 days. i still am not sure of the purpose but it is the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. i fucking hate this thing. mainly because the band along the bottom has some elastic in it that i'm allergic to and it sticks to the tape on my sutures. fuck this bra. that said, it forces my foobs together and creates a bit of cleavage. :)