pro tip: don't google 'ode to nipples' or do, whatever...

yesterday i was driving up to san francisco and i started crying because i miss my nipples. i don't know why, all of the sudden it struck me yesterday but i realized that they're gone and i don't know where to. and any nipples i decide to have in the future (though i still am generally against it) will either be tattoos or thigh skin or made of something synthetic.