i grow up with a sister not my own. amanda is the unsubtractable piece of myself that has always been there, an appendage, relevant. easy. necessary. emily becomes my sister in circumstance; unpoken common experience transferable only through osmosis. maybe they make me lazy in girlfriendship - certainly it's easier to wield power with a boy or maybe there's no reason to struggle with a girl, or amazing girls like these in any case.
in any case, it takes me almost 25 more years to meet girlfriends and i must let my guard down because before -what changed?- i would have judged them both. too loose. too religious. too comfortable in her own skin. too uncomfortable in her own skin. threatening. we've apparently walked miles and miles and miles around this track because i wake up in the middle of my family reunion less abrasive (still navel-gazing).
the conversation begins with circumcision and inevitably strays to abortion. we're polite, tearful. i give credit to colleen for teaching me two things i might never have learned without her: how to reach into a womb not my own and how to stretch-fight fair. because its less about the fight and more about the common ground we can find here. let her walk forward as the shining banner of Catholicism (and all Christianity for that manner, morality, intelligence and compartmentalized-beautiful womanhood). let me be be a rusty signpost for atheism.
i'm sorry you had to make that decision. i'm sorry you regret it. i love you. i respect you. i'm illogical. i'm crazy. i'm prone to drawing fuzzy-ambiguous lines. i've changed. don't pigeonhole me. i love you. i'm sorry.
in any case, it takes me almost 25 more years to meet girlfriends and i must let my guard down because before -what changed?- i would have judged them both. too loose. too religious. too comfortable in her own skin. too uncomfortable in her own skin. threatening. we've apparently walked miles and miles and miles around this track because i wake up in the middle of my family reunion less abrasive (still navel-gazing).
the conversation begins with circumcision and inevitably strays to abortion. we're polite, tearful. i give credit to colleen for teaching me two things i might never have learned without her: how to reach into a womb not my own and how to stretch-fight fair. because its less about the fight and more about the common ground we can find here. let her walk forward as the shining banner of Catholicism (and all Christianity for that manner, morality, intelligence and compartmentalized-beautiful womanhood). let me be be a rusty signpost for atheism.
i'm sorry you had to make that decision. i'm sorry you regret it. i love you. i respect you. i'm illogical. i'm crazy. i'm prone to drawing fuzzy-ambiguous lines. i've changed. don't pigeonhole me. i love you. i'm sorry.