the one where i just see clouds in the clouds

happy news . . . my best friend's boyfriend proposed to her yesterday. i bawled my ever-lovin' eyes out; i can't imagine how she's feeling. she asked me to be her maid of honor and i'm over the flippin' moon. holy shit, i'm healing. i'm hopeful and joyful and excited for this journey they are about to embark on. two summers ago when em got married i was still in such shell-shock that i didn't know how to behave at the wedding. i had to excuse myself a few times to bawl my eyes out. i'm happy that a horrible divorce hasn't left me a cynic, a doubter of marriage. i'm happy that i can be in this stage of my life and be supportive of my friends but in no hurry for myself.

because of who i am, i'm quite sure that i'll make a valiant attempt at matrimony again but i'm not feeling the pressure to rush headlong into. i've made a life with someone whom i adore and who adores me. i'm happier with where i am now than i was a year ago, or two or five years ago. i'm savoring these moments with d and not questioning (or worse yet) planning where we're going. and whaddaya know, it's more enjoyable this way when i'm not trying to control every little thing. things don't have to be perfect to be magnificent.