this is the first time since 'the day the bad thing happened' that the bad thing has felt far away, out of reach, part of a restless night's sleep. i have so clearly defined my own life, my own goals, my own self that i can't imagine being who i was anymore. i'm backsliding less - no longer crying for what was, what might have been, what will never be. a part of me will always be sad for losing the best friend i ever had and the seemingly irreparable pain that his disappearance caused our daughter. but a larger part of me will be proud of the strength and resilience and integrity i've modeled for the kids. i no longer feel the need to tell random strangers that somebody left me. instead i tell them about the life i've built since i struck out on my own. i didn't realize i had dreams of bigger things, ownership in the truest sense - of my career, my love life, my boundaries. and ownership is different than control because it isn't driven by fear. it's less about seeking outward approval and more about making sure the inside is lined up with the outside.
and all of this would be to say to r/bk if i could
and all of this would be to say to r/bk if i could
step up. if you can't - or won't - we'll be fine. we are fine. but now is your chance and i really do believe that there will come a time when it will be too late to change your mind. you'll regret this - the time missed, the reams and reams of little girl artwork, the little boy lisp that your son is outgrowing by the day. it's passing before your eyes. yes, raising children is a near death experience.