bk called at 7.45 and lit into me about the dcss thing. apparently his employer pulled him aside today and told him that they had been contacted about garnishing his wages because he hasn't been paying his child support. he says he was "humiliated at work." this caught me completely off guard. our case was opened at the end of november and i received a letter stating such last week. i asked him if he had gotten his letter then and he said no. i'm confused because i was told by dcss that they'd be collecting some info from both of us and then proceeding, not immediately going to his employer. i thought that this would show him i mean business so that we can get back to mediation or something...
i'm so mad at myself because i completely lost my cool and started apologizing all over the place and then screaming that "you're embarrassed? this whole thing has been embarrassing for me! how f*&$ing embarrassing that you left me for another woman! how embarrassing that my parents/grandparents are supporting me." i screamed like a mad woman while d tried to shove the kids into the other room. i've had all this bottled up for months and it was like i was momentarily possessed. and then i heard myself telling him i'm sorry that he was humiliated. i can't believe i acted the way i did. he kept saying that his debt is so much greater than mine and that the kids are being taken care of. NO THANKS TO HIM.
and now, i'm scared again. scared that he's so pissed and that i have to hand the kids off to him on sunday (presumably just for a few hours). irrationally scared that he'll retaliate by trying to take the kids. if he wanted that he would have been here for christmas right? i mean right?
i'm so mad at myself because i completely lost my cool and started apologizing all over the place and then screaming that "you're embarrassed? this whole thing has been embarrassing for me! how f*&$ing embarrassing that you left me for another woman! how embarrassing that my parents/grandparents are supporting me." i screamed like a mad woman while d tried to shove the kids into the other room. i've had all this bottled up for months and it was like i was momentarily possessed. and then i heard myself telling him i'm sorry that he was humiliated. i can't believe i acted the way i did. he kept saying that his debt is so much greater than mine and that the kids are being taken care of. NO THANKS TO HIM.
and now, i'm scared again. scared that he's so pissed and that i have to hand the kids off to him on sunday (presumably just for a few hours). irrationally scared that he'll retaliate by trying to take the kids. if he wanted that he would have been here for christmas right? i mean right?