i've been feeling this coming for a while now. at the beginning of june i made a financial trade with r wherein he didn't have to give me any money for 2.5 months. (this was a good deal for both of us but i'm not going to go into details.) during that time he was supposed to find a new job so we could finalize the child support/spousal support amount and the visitation schedule and pay down some of his debt so that he'd be less stressed and hopefully more agreeable. whaddaya know? nothing has changed. no job. no nothing.
well, something has changed; i've reached the end of my proverbial rope. i cannot take care of the kids and continue to be the rockin' fantastical mom that i am without the occasional break lasting more than 2 hours. even four hours once a week wherein i could stay in my own house would be huge. as it turns out i'm starting to resent r for leaving me to do everything while he comes and goes as he pleases, dashes from one social activity to another and bops in to be mr.-super-fun-dad (<--that sounds vaguely japanese doesn't it?) a few times a week on his way to someplace else. wouldn't that be lovely, to just skate through life, only touching the surface of things and never touching the proverbial (and literal) dirty diapers? no. it wouldn't. because it's the shit inside those diapers that gives everything else meaning.
well, something has changed; i've reached the end of my proverbial rope. i cannot take care of the kids and continue to be the rockin' fantastical mom that i am without the occasional break lasting more than 2 hours. even four hours once a week wherein i could stay in my own house would be huge. as it turns out i'm starting to resent r for leaving me to do everything while he comes and goes as he pleases, dashes from one social activity to another and bops in to be mr.-super-fun-dad (<--that sounds vaguely japanese doesn't it?) a few times a week on his way to someplace else. wouldn't that be lovely, to just skate through life, only touching the surface of things and never touching the proverbial (and literal) dirty diapers? no. it wouldn't. because it's the shit inside those diapers that gives everything else meaning.