i say it every week after our appointment: i love bob. he refers to himself as an old baboon. he's taken r under his wing as a young baboon. i believe he came into our lives at the right time. thank you rosanna if you are still following this.
i verbalized something today that r and i haven't really talked about. we've come to an agreement of sorts. he can take this time to "find himself" as long as he slows this shit down a bit (i.e. doesn't get a lawyer or file any papers). he is to continue to support the kids and i. he isn't to see other women. i'm trying my best not to judge his character. and to protect myself an the kids.
(fair warning to mdc readers, i'm about to quote myself.) it comes down to this: even if he asked me if he could come home tonight i don't know if i'd let him without a lot more therapy. i said to my dad at the beginning if this mess that this won't happen to me twice. not with r. not with anyone else. that said, my kids deserve a father and i don't have the right to cut and run even though that would be easiest.
i hope the people in my life can understand that i'm not being naive or letting him walk all over me. i truly believe in the vows we took (more than i even thought when i took them). i truly believe that the ideal situation for our kids is for us to find our way back to each other. but i won't compromise my self for that either.
something changed between r and i in the last week and a half or so. namely, he stopped lying to me and i stopped coming down on him really hard. we're rebuilding our friendship. that's where we started 11 years ago. as friends. that's something.
at first i thought this situation was about us. it turns out this is his life crisis. hopefully, i'll grow from it as well.
this has become more about the process and less about the outcome.
more later.
i verbalized something today that r and i haven't really talked about. we've come to an agreement of sorts. he can take this time to "find himself" as long as he slows this shit down a bit (i.e. doesn't get a lawyer or file any papers). he is to continue to support the kids and i. he isn't to see other women. i'm trying my best not to judge his character. and to protect myself an the kids.
(fair warning to mdc readers, i'm about to quote myself.) it comes down to this: even if he asked me if he could come home tonight i don't know if i'd let him without a lot more therapy. i said to my dad at the beginning if this mess that this won't happen to me twice. not with r. not with anyone else. that said, my kids deserve a father and i don't have the right to cut and run even though that would be easiest.
i hope the people in my life can understand that i'm not being naive or letting him walk all over me. i truly believe in the vows we took (more than i even thought when i took them). i truly believe that the ideal situation for our kids is for us to find our way back to each other. but i won't compromise my self for that either.
something changed between r and i in the last week and a half or so. namely, he stopped lying to me and i stopped coming down on him really hard. we're rebuilding our friendship. that's where we started 11 years ago. as friends. that's something.
at first i thought this situation was about us. it turns out this is his life crisis. hopefully, i'll grow from it as well.
this has become more about the process and less about the outcome.
more later.