well, r woke up early this morning barfing. i'm still coughing my brains out. we're a mess. but hey! parker's holding up just fine-not so much as a sniffle outta our girl. thankfully r was able to get his shift covered pretty easily so he doesn't have to go into work. i just hope we're all feeling tip-top by weekend because we're going to monterey with amanda and adam to see my dad's band.
hmm, oh okay, the pie encounter: strange! last saturday our neighbors from across the street (douglas and connie) came over and asked us if we'd like to "get together for some coconut cream pie sometime-yah know be neighborly." r and i, incapable of being rude agreed to meet them on monday afternoon. when r asked them what time we should head over on monday douglas says, "oh no, let's do it at your place." which was odd because, uh, they were inviting us. we stuttered that that would be okay and immediately agreed we should cancel or at least postpone. what we know of these people is that they are nice enough, but unusual. douglas is disabled and slightly deformed (that's not the weird part), VERY concerned that parker is going to be hit by a car(?) and married to possibly the strangest woman i've ever met. [BE BACK, P IS ACTING UP!]
[OKAY SHE'S DISTRACTED BY MANDARIN ORANGES AND BROCCOLI] anyway, connie is bizzare. last week i was working in the dirt in front of the house and had p playing on the deck with sidewalk chalk. up walks connie in her "fancy" shoes to our porch. she proceeded to stand not five feet away from parker, staring until p started to cry. no exaggeration, it was ten minutes. just staring, smiling sticking her belly out. didn't say a word to me. so i picked p up and took p inside in a huff. this is the same woman that comes down to the pool in white cotton granny panties and a bra and swims, mumbling to herself and the park kids. c.r.e.e.p.y.
so of course, r went over to cancel on sunday and they were gone all day. monday rolls around and we decide it would be disrespectful to parker to have the pie at our house because this is her haven afterall, so instead we agree to meet at the clubhouse and try to make the best of it. we head over there at the time we've agreed to and wait 15 minutes then r looks out the window and sees connie on our porch. this woman who rarely speaks gives him a ration of shit for making her wait! douglas says something along the lines of "that's a load of crap, we knew we were supposed to meet at the clubhouse."
so we finally all make it to the clubhouse and sit down for pie ("they didn't have any fresh coconut cream pie so we got chocolate caramel turtle pie" *blech* pie has fruit!). connie starts to cut the pie. doug: let me do it. connie: no. doug: let me cut the pie. connie, whining: no, i want to cut it! i'm the woman, its my job to cut pie. you're the man, its your job to sit there. *r & celeste look nervously at each other* so she proceeds to massacre the pie. she cuts through the pie tin, i swear to god. doug: connie, give me the knife. connie: no. at this point they begin to wrestle for the knife. i couldn't make this crap up. douglas is literally holding connie's wrists in an attempt to get the knife. [BABY CALLS.] he eventually suceeds, thankfully (?) without stabbing connie in the process. finally, pie is served. parker refuses any "nummies."
r and i attempt small talk. r: how long have y'all been married. (only not quite that southern.) doug: three years, but the first year she was in the philippines. [BABY AGAIN!] celeste: really? r's mom is philippino. r: do you have family there still? doug: she has 3 sisters in stockton, 3 sisters & 2 brothers in the philippines. celeste: neat. have you two been back since you got married? doug: um, no *connie shoots an evil glance* connie: enough! r and my take on the situation is that she was a ... mail order bride and he was about to spill the beans. anyway, that was the end of any talk of homelands.
doug noticed the tattoo on my arm and asked if i was a nurse. i explained to him that i am a cancer survivor and then got up to get some water. i heard connie shout behind me, presumably to parker: yo mama had cancer! *uh ok* then she went back to sucking on her pie crust and spitting it out on her plate. *gross*
hmm, oh okay, the pie encounter: strange! last saturday our neighbors from across the street (douglas and connie) came over and asked us if we'd like to "get together for some coconut cream pie sometime-yah know be neighborly." r and i, incapable of being rude agreed to meet them on monday afternoon. when r asked them what time we should head over on monday douglas says, "oh no, let's do it at your place." which was odd because, uh, they were inviting us. we stuttered that that would be okay and immediately agreed we should cancel or at least postpone. what we know of these people is that they are nice enough, but unusual. douglas is disabled and slightly deformed (that's not the weird part), VERY concerned that parker is going to be hit by a car(?) and married to possibly the strangest woman i've ever met. [BE BACK, P IS ACTING UP!]
[OKAY SHE'S DISTRACTED BY MANDARIN ORANGES AND BROCCOLI] anyway, connie is bizzare. last week i was working in the dirt in front of the house and had p playing on the deck with sidewalk chalk. up walks connie in her "fancy" shoes to our porch. she proceeded to stand not five feet away from parker, staring until p started to cry. no exaggeration, it was ten minutes. just staring, smiling sticking her belly out. didn't say a word to me. so i picked p up and took p inside in a huff. this is the same woman that comes down to the pool in white cotton granny panties and a bra and swims, mumbling to herself and the park kids. c.r.e.e.p.y.
so of course, r went over to cancel on sunday and they were gone all day. monday rolls around and we decide it would be disrespectful to parker to have the pie at our house because this is her haven afterall, so instead we agree to meet at the clubhouse and try to make the best of it. we head over there at the time we've agreed to and wait 15 minutes then r looks out the window and sees connie on our porch. this woman who rarely speaks gives him a ration of shit for making her wait! douglas says something along the lines of "that's a load of crap, we knew we were supposed to meet at the clubhouse."
so we finally all make it to the clubhouse and sit down for pie ("they didn't have any fresh coconut cream pie so we got chocolate caramel turtle pie" *blech* pie has fruit!). connie starts to cut the pie. doug: let me do it. connie: no. doug: let me cut the pie. connie, whining: no, i want to cut it! i'm the woman, its my job to cut pie. you're the man, its your job to sit there. *r & celeste look nervously at each other* so she proceeds to massacre the pie. she cuts through the pie tin, i swear to god. doug: connie, give me the knife. connie: no. at this point they begin to wrestle for the knife. i couldn't make this crap up. douglas is literally holding connie's wrists in an attempt to get the knife. [BABY CALLS.] he eventually suceeds, thankfully (?) without stabbing connie in the process. finally, pie is served. parker refuses any "nummies."
r and i attempt small talk. r: how long have y'all been married. (only not quite that southern.) doug: three years, but the first year she was in the philippines. [BABY AGAIN!] celeste: really? r's mom is philippino. r: do you have family there still? doug: she has 3 sisters in stockton, 3 sisters & 2 brothers in the philippines. celeste: neat. have you two been back since you got married? doug: um, no *connie shoots an evil glance* connie: enough! r and my take on the situation is that she was a ... mail order bride and he was about to spill the beans. anyway, that was the end of any talk of homelands.
doug noticed the tattoo on my arm and asked if i was a nurse. i explained to him that i am a cancer survivor and then got up to get some water. i heard connie shout behind me, presumably to parker: yo mama had cancer! *uh ok* then she went back to sucking on her pie crust and spitting it out on her plate. *gross*