some nights i am totally overcome with panic at how quickly time is going- particularly parker time. i remember watching the hours tick by in the days after she was born thinking: slow down; this is passing way to fast! now instead of minutes passing, it's months. i am quite sure we have passed the half way point for nursing and cosleeping. not because i feel halfway "done" but because i sense in parker that things are winding down. i expected that would bring me a sense of relief to think, i can sleep in bed sprawled out not worried about who might fall, or who i might roll on to. instead i'm scared to know who i will be in her life if not her "boobie"or her nighttime pal. i'm scared she'll be ready to leave me before i'm ready to let her go.