anchors away

so little time lately...ah the joys of small business ownership. we're likely starting at a fifth market (in santa cruz!) in a couple of weeks and we're thrilled about it. as usual, it's been a matter of keeping up with production. all four of us are doing something s&b related 7 days a week. we're looking to upgrade our machinery again so that we can do 70 pounds of chocolate at once. i still can't believe that this is the little idea ben had 2.5 years ago.

things are feeling a bit in flux...not for me in particular but there are lots of big changes going on around me (engagements, babies, breakups, etc). all of this moving energy is leaving me feeling a bit 'off.' (did anyone else's kids sleep poorly this week with the full moon?) i guess i'm not even sure how to put into words what's going on and how i feel like i'm hovering just a half inch above the ground.

things with bk are...different. this is the first time (really since i've met him i suppose) that i feel blankness. i don't miss him. i'm not wondering about him. i'm not annoyed or mad or sad or anything about him. he's just the father of my children now and i'm giving him little more energy or thought than dealing with scheduling (he's taking the kids on sundays and typically having lunch with us once a week). since he and miss bk broke up i've been able to tell him some of the ways that his decisions impacted me and the kids (you were in italy on vacation. we couldn't afford food. you did that.). he listens quietly but tends to shift the blame to her. i hold them equally responsible for the decisions but again, she had no reason to consider me or the kids (aside from human decency, which apparently wasn't an issue).

k, true blood is on and that trumps all.