this month i have been vacillating between an overwhelmingly bitter anger (my teeth hurt tonight from clenching my jaw during the day and grinding my teeth in my sleep) and an truer, more peaceful happiness than i've ever felt before. i'm so thoroughly exhausted i don't know what to do with myself. i'm not depressed but really really tired and feeling unable to stop long enough to rest, even when i have the chance (now, for example). someday this will be behind me but in the meantime i'm trying to fully experience the lighter moments.