my parents gave me an intervention last night, at our favorite mexican restaurant (even divorced parents can do this, bah!). i have no choice but to move out of fear and into some other realm, whatever it is. i've created my own personal hell by my inability to just do something, anything. even the absolute worst outcome would be better that this waiting for the unknown to happen. i'm ready to be done. my home will feel safe to me again. i will know what to expect. i will give this less emotional attention so that i have more of myself to give to other things.