we (mom, r, miss p, brother & i) were at the mall last week in the section where all the kids' stores are. i caught myself thinking, wow, look at all these families! i wonder what it will be like to have kids...all that responsibility! then i realized i was holding a newborn. er, my newborn. holy shit people, i am those families. i have kids. two of them in fact! then of course my head exploded and it made a big mess. *blech*
today i was bending over into the tub letting the water out and suddenly i felt very mom-ish. i think i get so caught up in the day to day stuff that i don't really realize what i've been doing. i've apparently been nursing and wiping and teaching and laundering and feeding and explaining and scolding and cuddling and "please don't suck on the baby's feet"-ing and nursing and nursing and nursing two very small human beings with exceptionally large heads and a black whole of needs and desires and emotions and questions. and i just can't wrap my mind around it. i've had the experience of miss p hiding in a store and thinking for a split second that she's gone for good. *barf* it's the most terrifying thing in the world. what would i do without her (or him)? who would i be? what else in this life could have as much meaning as birthing and loving my kids?
today i was bending over into the tub letting the water out and suddenly i felt very mom-ish. i think i get so caught up in the day to day stuff that i don't really realize what i've been doing. i've apparently been nursing and wiping and teaching and laundering and feeding and explaining and scolding and cuddling and "please don't suck on the baby's feet"-ing and nursing and nursing and nursing two very small human beings with exceptionally large heads and a black whole of needs and desires and emotions and questions. and i just can't wrap my mind around it. i've had the experience of miss p hiding in a store and thinking for a split second that she's gone for good. *barf* it's the most terrifying thing in the world. what would i do without her (or him)? who would i be? what else in this life could have as much meaning as birthing and loving my kids?